Why do we sometimes hold on so tightly to something that isn’t working for us?To someone that isn’t treating us the way we deserve to be treated?Better than settling for someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.Because there really is someone out there who will treat you better than that.And unfortunately, this type of reaction is all too common. Why do we hang in there, remaining silent on what we’re observing, while we’re pretzeling ourselves around to be whatever we think we need to be to get him (and the relationship) back the way it was?Because when he starts pulling away from us, it brings out every abandonment issue we’ve ever had, and leaves us desperately trying to turn things around by pulling out all the stops and becoming everything we think he wants us to be. And the worst part is, in reality, it only has the opposite effect – it brings the relationship crashing down even faster than before.Take a break from thinking about the relationship and go to that art gallery you've been wanting to check out or take that dance class you've been thinking about.
I would get scared, and instead of taking a step back and reassessing the relationship, I just clung on like my life depended on it.
And if all else fails, there is a third thing you can do.
If he’s gotten so distant that the writing’s clearly on the wall, just let him go. And do it without hard feelings, since it truly is a gift.
1 I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
I loafe and invite my soul, I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.