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But what good is sending a message if you can’t even get an initial response? We’re sharing 7 online dating message tips that will actually get you somewhere. You’ll want your first impression to do just that—make an impression. Statistics show that the 3 most popular ways to greet someone in an online dating message were actually bad beginnings.

Since the goal of your first message is to continue the convo, leave the receiver wanting more (as opposed to already knowing too much)! While some people make the mistake of leading with a long list of questions on a range of topics, it’s best to just pick one detail you think is cool or something you’re curious about and stick with it to start. Messaging someone more than once without getting a reply is the quickest turn-off you can try.

No traditional greeting at least earns the reply rate of 27%.

Overall, more informal standard greetings did very well.

So, instead of messaging someone that they are “gorgeous,” mention the words “awesome,” “fascinating,” or “cool,” if you want to give a compliment. If you’re hopelessly messaging and not really looking for a response (which likely isn’t you if you’re reading this post), then go ahead and continue holding vague and general conversations. Specific interests and precise reference words for those—such as “zombie,” “band,” “tattoo,” “literature,” to name a few popular ones—show to be successful. Research shows that most “niche” words have a positive effect on messaging.

Try talking about particular things that interest you or details that you might have in common with your message receiver.

279 comments

  1. Are You Making These 4 Huge Mistakes in Your Online Dating Profile? Part of learning how to write a good online dating profile is learning what not to write. This will make or break your game. I can always tell when guys don't bother to learn what not to write. Their profiles are full of rookie mistakes.

  2. Sep 6, 2016. Most people probably wouldn't be surprised to learn that it's more common for people to lie in their online profile than be completely honest. You don't necessarily have to develop a 'trust no-one and sleep with 1 eye open' approach to online dating, but it is probably worthwhile having a healthy degree of.

  3. It's a numbers game and they have tons of fake profiles all over the Internet to be worrying about. Especially, if someone flags them and has their account deleted, they have to create a whole new account. Do report a fake profile to your online dating service, it's at least a step in the right direction—you'll be helping out by not.

  4. Apr 5, 2017. As a woman who both works at an online dating site and who's been an online dater for some time now, I've seen my share of men making dating profile mistakes that are easily fixed. Be it a profile photo with an ex-girlfriend peaking in from the side, an empty profile description, or a bad grammar.

  5. Feb 6, 2017. Con artists are increasingly creating fake online profiles and tricking people on dating sites into handing over often large sums of money. And a lot of the time, you're not just talking to one person behind each profile - you could be exchanging messages with a circle of fraudsters acting together, according.

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