I know people who are just separated are iffy potential partners on most occasions.After all, there's a good chance that you get involved with that person and they drop that, "I'm getting back with my ex" bomb on you. And let's face it, there's a great risk in being the first new relationship for the soon-to-be divorcee.
Even when the divorce is amicable, as mine was over a decade ago, the massive weight of the realization that the world you had built with your soon-to-be-ex and the end of your journey with a person who at some point was the closest person in the world to you is downright smothering. Are we supposed to see each other a certain number of times a week? Or do you tell them that the marriage is over, no chance of being mended and that the paperwork is simply a formality? I recall going through that period, knowing full well that the marriage was over and that, indeed, the paperwork was just the final punctuation.
After several years of counseling the separated, I am more convinced than ever that Britton Wood is right. But most of those who are dating will never be reconciled. Dating is a prelude to remarriage, not therapy for reconciliation. You are extremely vulnerable during these days of separation.
” I first read that statement in Britton Wood’s book, . Wood has worked with singles and separated persons longer than anyone in his denomination. I know that dating while separated is accepted, even encouraged, in our society. You need people who care and help bear the load, but the dating context is not the best place to find such help.
It's an awful, soul-crushing rollercoaster and every time someone sarcastically remarks how easy it is for people to get divorced or how so-and-so "just left their marriage," my head feels like it's about to explode. However when I would reveal to someone in whom I was potentially interested that I was separated, they invariably would shy away.
Related: Why I Love (and Respect) Cougars There is, though, an emotional purgatory most couples need to work their way through before the final decision to end a marriage is made: the separation. As much as I wanted to shout out "Hey, that's really, seriously [email protected]" I sort of understood where there was room for reasonable reticence on their part.