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Internet dating is useless

How dare they reject me before I could reject them! Whether they were the ancient ads I helped beta test as an intern or the old standby OKCupid, I'd invest time and energy into meeting men I wouldn't otherwise come across in my day-to-day life (read: freelancing at home, usually pantless).

Eventually, I'd get fed up with the banality of it all, hide my profile or delete the app.

I'd taken a break from dating after a quick but hot liaison with a punk I'd met at a Damned concert petered out, but I wanted to, you know, put the vibes out there into the universe.

As I waded through Ok Cupid's endless questions and block of text, I imagined the countless men of New York City setting their age filters to 35 or, gasp, 39, and I wondered if it was true that anyone who didn't accept me as I am isn't worth knowing.

When I was younger, I saw the girls (and the guys, for that matter) my age to be kids, which I was too.

It was making me feel like crap, so I went to Europe, specifically Stockholm, and immediately got laid."For the time being, going to Europe is off the table for me, if only because I hid my passport from myself after a long-distance tryst with someone I'd met on a work trip went sideways.

It has generally been rote and fruitless, with occasional flurries of excitement, but for someone who makes their living with words, I've had a weirdly difficult time wooing dudes with them.

Still, the day after I turned 40, I decided to fire up an old profile and see what happened.

I had time, and if someone wanted to get up in my grill about having kids eventually, well, my mom had me when she was 38 and I turned out mostly okay. Summers, who is 54, is firmly in favor of skimming a few years off one's age, though always coming correct with current photos.

But now I'm encountering divorcees and mid-life crises and men who themselves lie about their ages and cheekily confess, "Haha, just hoping you'd be so charmed by the time you clicked that it wouldn't matter! Like me, she straddles the digital divide; we remember a time before DOS, but not a lot of dating without the accompanying click and beep of a modem.

893 comments

  1. Mar 14, 2016. Women of late have been "leaning in" but there's at least one forum in which they're not taking charge online dating.

  2. Feb 12, 2013. But despite these numbers, it's unclear if online dating is any more effective than, or really any different from, meeting someone offline. The most classic, useless dating advice of all time—which you've undoubtedly heard countless times from your mom, magazines, and self-help books—is to just "be.

  3. Mar 23, 2017. The panic and pleasure of online dating as a woman in her 40s. If you're not familiar with the exciting world of online dating, sites and apps let you set search parameters that range from location to body type to education and, yes, age range. Just as. And can teach their useless baby bodies what to do?".

  4. Jun 5, 2013. The trouble with clicking all those boxes online is that we start to think there's someone out there who will actually have all the qualities we are after in a man.

  5. Mar 31, 2015. Dating websites are useless and dangerous. Many of the profiles of women on dating websites don't even exist. Dating websites also end up being vehicles for massive phishing operations by criminal gangs. Another problem with dating websites is that they are easily hacked. Recently, a hacker created a.

  6. I have been on online dating sites for 6 years. I have yet to meet see a single member in person. I hear nothing but bad things from all the people here on the Internet. But when I brought this up to.

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