Their secret was very simple: they were fun to hang around with. It gave them a notable, long-term advantage over the guys who were all surface and flash, the ones who only had a handful of tricks and routines to rely on and the ones who got by on social pressure and status games.
If you talked to them, then you were going to enjoy yourself. they all loved these guys within minutes of meeting them. It took me a while to appreciate just what they had but once I understood, it was like a new world opened up to me.
Fun people make others feel comfortable and have a better grasp on how to read people’s signs and moods and can adjust themselves as needed.
This makes the difference between someone who’s fun and someone who’s just a clown: fun people can find the line and know when things are appropriate or not while a clown tends to blunder on regardless of mood or intent.
We associate the pleasure with the person and thus want to spend more time in their presence.
Someone who is fun tends to be more confident in themselves – after all, it’s hard to be fun when you’re too worried about looking silly or acting childish.
Fun people are also positive; excessively negative people suck the energy out of the room and kill the mood while positive people help energy.
More than looks, more than money, more than whatever nebulous definition you want to give to “value” or “status”, the most attractive aspect of a man, that x-factor that nets him attention, attraction and dates is… Over the years as I was trying to make my transition from “dateless loser” to “ladies man”, I got to know a wide variety of folks who were good with women.
Some were blessed with every advantage – classic good looks, money and charm – while others had to work for their success.