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Dating highly intelligent man

I made a point of expressing love and appreciation, but I also “turned toward her” by showing interest in her interests.We already shared many interests and values, of course, but hers were expanding and evolving as we entered a new stage in our lives.I preferred to zone out after a long workday and felt little need to interact since we shared the same roof during all of our free time.The reality check came when my wife told me in the midst of a heart-to-heart, “We’re not friends anymore.” I realized my role would have to change if I wanted to provide my bride with the happy, fulfilled relationship we had always wanted. After years of research on highly-satisfied married couples, Gottman concluded that “happy marriages are based on deep friendship,” defined as “a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company.” Emotionally intelligent husbands not only help with household chores but also cultivate a deep and mutually-satisfying friendship with their wives.

It’s hard for a man to be excited about such things, but attentively listening to his wife’s gushing description of a new recipe can add new information to his “map of his wife’s world” (oh, I didn’t know she loved ricotta so much), nurture his admiration for her (she’s such a good cook, she takes great care of me), and communicate his love more powerfully than any bouquet of roses.It develops deep friendship, which in turn leads to “positive sentiment override.” Each spouse’s positive thoughts about the other supersede any negative feelings, and it takes a much more significant conflict to disrupt their happiness.As Gottman says, “Their positivity causes them to feel optimistic about each other and their marriage, to assume positive things about their lives together, and to give each other the benefit of the doubt.” When my wife and I focus on cultivating our friendship through emotional intelligence, we have much more tolerance and patience for each other’s imperfections and mistakes.He isn’t a doormat, but he searches for common ground rather than insisting on having his way.He respects his partner’s perspective and values, acknowledges her feelings, and shares decision-making power with her.Though we acknowledge this shift, we struggle to adapt to these new expectations since we lack role models for doing so.When I talk to other young married men about our dilemma, they always agree (tongue in cheek) that something went terribly wrong between our fathers’ generation and us – and we must discover a solution quickly if we want happy marriages. In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, marriage expert John Gottman claims that the “emotionally intelligent husband is the next step in social evolution.” He’s not necessarily sensitive and in touch with his feelings, but he knows “how to convey honor and respect” toward his spouse.We are freed from unnecessary conflict and can focus instead on valuing each other for our positive qualities.We still have arguments, of course, and sometimes I’m still as emotionally dumb as a rock.Flowers are cliché; listening attentively and responding enthusiastically to her interests is a much more sincere and meaningful expression of romance.I cannot overstate the impact of greater emotional intelligence on marital happiness and fulfillment.

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  1. Men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women. The simple designs feature illustrations of a woman and a woman, and a man and a man.

  2. Would a highly intelligent man date an averagely intelligent woman. Would a highly intelligent man date an averagely intelligent woman. Dating a very intelligent man, Sep 20, If you believe youve found one, Im very happy for you, but Im not seeking.

  3. And for those who haven't, please realize before you get trapped in the strong jaws of wisdom. No, we have nothing against intellectual men, it's just that everything has its pros and cons. And we are just NOT talking about the pros but the cons only. Here are some of the disadvantages of dating highly intelligent men Back.

  4. Why Emotional Intelligence is Vital for Husbands. By Eric. Though we talked all the time while dating. It’s hard for a man to be excited about.

  5. Dating Intelligent People just got easier! On our site, we screen singles by their education and IQ scores so you don't have to! Meet the smartest singles.

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