See, the way things have gone for bankers of late, I feel a bit like I stepped out with Satan. Don’t get me started on the hair conditioner.) The point is, if money is the root of all evil, bankers were its boom-time shoots. In my defence, I did so before the bottom fell out of the banking system and bankers the world over were suddenly out of favour, and long before the services of Dating A Banker Anonymous, a purported support group recently set up online for girlfriends of bankers coping with the downsizing of their bling-ed lives post-economic crash, were required.
This is part of what makes it so bizarre when bankers become the villains in our national consciousness: er, bankers? Yet within the banking catch-all, there are grades of evil too, and though bankers are bad and currently the popular choice as The Ones That Got Us Into This Mess, investment bankers are truly the devil incarnate. Then they lost it all spectacularly, overnight, and ended up on Wanted posters all across town.
She works 80-100 hour weeks, perpetually talks likes she’s job interviewing, and is obsessed with fashion magazines and teeny-bopper television shows.
What can you do to get one of these chicks to give you a ride in a black car instead of you having to convince Mr.You’re telling me that those suit-dressing, briefcase-toting number pushers and money counters have brought about the destruction of life on the planet as we know it? Last week I dined with a friend in a similarly high-stakes, big-bucks line of work, who told me he’d finally seen the light. You know, the kind that’s hand-crushed from virgin sea algae and is valued at about €50 a squirt? His job, or more accurately his life, went thus: Wake up. Free fancy face products can only go so far, after all, and I decided to call it a day. Show me an investment banker and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t slept more than four hours in a row since he/she signed the first contract. The IB was forever forking out for pricey tickets to concerts, sporting events, even holidays, that were scuppered by work at the last minute.It wasn’t the addiction to sleeping pills or the series of failed relationships that set the alarm bells ringing.It’s a whole other world, this big money business, not just in terms of remuneration, but in terms of stress levels, working hours, red-eye flights across the world and high level, high stakes meetings strung out on nervous tension and copious cups of coffee. I’m well (OK, vaguely) aware of the difference between an investment banker, a bank clerk and the AIB chief executive, and I know that this column is kind of conflating the lot in an attempt to justify having bedded Beelzebub.And I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to get my hand on some of those spondulicks (and all of their face products). The cocktails and clubs, and zipping about overpriced, blinging restaurants in expensive world capitals! (Note: this may not be common to all investment bankers, but this particular IB stocked some kick-ass moisturiser in his otherwise empty apartment. His eternal absence took its toll – I took it as a warning signal when I began to count his secretary among my closest correspondents – and we parted ways most amicably, if over the phone (I couldn’t pin him down to a face-to-face, what with the markets how they were). Though he may have been master of the universe, his life was at the whim of market forces, over which he lacked any semblance of control.At the same time, all options are 100% responsive, which is highly necessary in this modern age where people access website aside from the screen of an actual computer.You will certainly never go wrong with choosing any of the available bank templates and themes.