We share a biological and historical bond like no other.
Arie’s “Brown Skin” and Angie Stone’s “Brotha” are just a few poetic examples of the adoration, admiration and loyalty sistas have for the brothas.
But buried toward the bottom of its About Us page is a fuzzy You Tube video that indicates a wider problem.
The video is a defense of the company — directed at "haters" who have criticized Black Girl Travel for encouraging black women to date men in other countries."The heart of what we do is about empowering African-American women with options," says Fleacé Weaver, founder of Black Girl Travel, in the clip.
"I have done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women in this country, and what I'm hearing is: You can't find dates, you can't find mates, you can't find husbands."Weaver, a statuesque black woman flanked by two chic employees on either side, is all long lithe limbs and wavy hair. "What you gotta do is open your mind." Weaver's not alone in her exhortation to black American women.
Her presence, despite the poor video quality, commands the screen."And I kind of thought about, like, well why is that? The idea that we should travel abroad — particularly to Europe — to find love has a home in online discussion groups, travel websites, blogs, and Facebook pages, all of which earnestly and enthusiastically encourage us to "swirl," i.e., date non-black men (the term is designed to evoke a half-chocolate, half-vanilla soft-serve).
“For that reason, I don’t mind dating people of other races.Then again, the demographics of my clients are probably a bit skewed towards upper-middle class white people.Money quote: The researchers found that most women speed daters said yes (meaning they’d like to see a man again after the four-minute speed date) less often to men of another race than they did to men of their own race.“The researchers realize that their results can be depressing, but they also agree with the many readers who caution against reading too much into the preferences of online daters and speed daters. I married a black man, who I am now (17 years later) divorcing, but the point is that I think the world is FULL of potential, why limit yourself?Yes, these daters clearly discriminate by race and height and looks and other superficial qualities, but they also temper these biases once they get to know one another.” People who are terribly picky in choosing partners online will relax their standards if they spend just three or four minutes talking to someone at a speed dating session. I’m a bit surprised at men’s openness to interracial dating.While I’ve personally dated women across the racial spectrum, I’ve only had a handful of clients who ever expressed preferences for women of other races.I spent several years overseas among other cultures, which has brought me to a greater appreciation for people.” “I think there is a stigma among black women when it comes to being subservient and submissive to black men,” he adds.“I think black men want a complement, not a woman who doesn’t add value to them overall.” Bottom line: Black women who want to be in a relationship want to be understood.While he said white people were the most likely to consider relationships with people from other ethnic backgrounds, he said the biggest 'reversals' in preference, are observed among groups that display the greatest tendency towards in-group bias.Professor Lewis' study also found that a person who is contacted by someone from a different racial background for the first time is more likely to reply, which he explains using his theory about 'pre-emptive discrimination'.'Based on a lifetime of experiences in a racist and racially segregated society, people anticipate discrimination on the part of a potential recipient and are largely unwilling to reach out in the first place,' he said.