Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman. Your financial well-being should be your top priority, says divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank.
Ask your attorney when and how it's best to gather this info first, though. "Raw emotions will heal and legalities will be completed, but the financial impact of poor decisions, or default decisions due to lack of understanding, will last a lifetime," she warns.
"Divorce used to be something people didn't do, and many considered divorced women to be 'loose' and 'scandalous,'" says two-time divorcee Jennifer Little, Ph D, founder of Parents Teach Kids.
"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman. Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable."It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic."2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.If you and your husband have complicated combined assets, you may need additional pros.While it’s good for newly divorced men to get your self-esteem back up to par, all of the superficial acts like getting a new hairstyle or a new wardrobe won’t do much internally. to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.For you women, this also means that you need to give a newly divorced man some time to be with his pals or alone. If you can take the time to heal, you’ll be able to move on and eventually have a healthy relationship.If he clearly feels the pain and is letting it show, that’s fine too. If he pretends that nothing is wrong and he’s over it, then you may have even more of a problem. Take the time to heal by yourself and allow yourself to feel sad. For those of you dating newly divorced men, give them the time they need."Divorcing just means that the relationship didn't work out," she says."You haven't been rejected as a woman or a person, nor are you incompetent at being a wife, a partner, a lover, a friend."8. Amanda, 29, from Albuquerque, NM, was married for over six years until her divorce.Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce."I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.